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Dear Amelia,

I blame myself. Macey didn’t know what happiness felt like. She only experienced all my bad moments. And although she resented Tristan for looking like James, all she wanted to do was protect him. From what I read in her journal, Tristan was the only innocent person in her eyes. She didn’t want to hurt him. She loved him.

As I read through her journal, I heard Devyn’s voice. But I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from.

Before I go further, I think I should tell you what was going on in the world. Outside of my mind. While I was reading Macey’s journal, and learning about her, she was in full control of my body. So I’ll tell you what I was told happened during the time I was learning about Macey.

I think they- and by ‘they’ I mean my parents, and friends- said it was about a week before Macey woke up and escaped. Stella, Farrah and Sadie sealed her and confined her to a cell in the dungeon at Black Forest. That’s where she escaped from.

Anyway, Macey was able to escape because Stella waivered. Vasilia was visiting Stella as she was watching over me, and her visit made Stella emotions spike. That spike in emotion made the sealing spell weak enough for Macey to break free of it.

Macey went to Willow Lake to find Tristan. But he wasn’t there. Devyn sent him to the Goddess realm. Gaia’s to be exact. And when Macey couldn’t find him, she was angry. Farrah managed to paralyze her with strong magic, but that didn’t stop Macey from getting Jordan to turn on Devyn.

Also, side note- while I was trapped in my own mind, they met with Colton and gained his trust. Those details right now don’t matter. I’ll explain that later. So I’ll get back to what happened next.

As I was reading Macey’s journal, she showed up again. She said she was sealed away again. The second time she showed up was different though. Instead of her telling me about how weak I was, we talked like we were old friends.

Maybe it was because I understood her a lot better after reading years worth of my life- her life. And still, I had a lot more to go. I only read up until the age of fourteen. That and the post war entries I read before deciding to start form the beginning, when I first created her. I was so young when I made her.

Macey didn’t understand me, or why I chose to forgive those who wronged or hurt me. She especially didn’t understand why I forgave Devyn. As you know, Devyn never bullied me, he never hurt me. But Macey didn’t agree. In her eyes, he hurt us the most.

Amelia, I’ve very scared to tell you this next part. I don’t want you to view your father in a negative way, especially since I don’t. And this is something I never wanted anyone to know. Especially you and Tristan. Don’t hate him. Never hate him. Devyn is a good guy. He’s always been too good.

And yes, I’m stalling because I really don’t want to tell you. My fear is that you will view the situation the same way that Macey did, not the way I do. And like I told you before, Devyn and my story didn’t start after the war. It didn’t start at his Alpha ceremony, or when I asked him to join the war for me. It didn’t happen when he rejected Casey for me. It started when we were kids.

Macey took a lot of memories from me. Including a lot where Devyn was involved. Like I said before, my reality is warped. So are my memories from childhood. And I only know that because Macey eventually gave them back. That’s why I say our story, mine and Devyn’s, started long before the war and James.

Devyn and I were secret friends. And every year, we got each other birthday gifts. I think I even harbored a secret crush on him. No, I loved him.

Anyway, this was like any other year. His 16th birthday was coming up and I was shopping for his gift when I ran into him. He gave me an invitation to his party and asked me for my number. He invited me every year to his birthday parties, so getting an invite was no surprise. I never went to any of the parties, but I always dropped off his gift before the party started. That time, though, he left a note saying he really wanted me there.

Devyn was never the type to set people up. I had no reason to believe that he had ulterior motives, so I went. I was late, and by the time I got there, everyone was wasted one way or another. I was uncomfortable, and was about to go home, but then Devyn showed up.

He placed his arm around me and hung onto me as if I were his, and he was claiming me. It shocked me, because I liked him. I had feelings for him. And it made me happy he was comfortable with me like that, even if he was drunk. Casey and Erica were there too. They somehow convinced Devyn that they wanted to be my friend, and he believed them. All they did was torment me when he wasn’t looking.

To save you the details, a brawl broke out with the vampires from across the lake, and I was at the center of it. I got hit from all angels and nearly drowned, but Devyn saved me. And then he helped me get cleaned up. But him going into a room alone with me started rumors.

I wanted to leave, because it was all too much for me. And I didn’t want Devyn to get hate for helping me. On my way out, I was attacked by so many people who wanted to take advantage of me. Every man was trying to force themselves on me, and Devyn saved me once again.

Devyn nearly killed the guy who tried to force himself on me. And then he promised to kill or banish anyone who threatened me again. He yelled it with so much conviction, releasing all his aura. People were scared, because Devyn never got mad. He was always in control of his composure. But at that moment, he wanted to kill everyone for touching me. Even Jason, his best friend, because he told him I asked for it.

I passed out after that. When I woke up, Devyn was carrying me back inside. He cleaned me up and took me home. He was still so drunk, I don’t think he remembered everything that happened because he kept asking me about what happened. All I wanted was to forget that day ever happened. Macey only did what I wanted her to do.

Now to think about it, Devyn was probably asking because he was never around when things started. Maybe he was asking me how it started. Or who started it.

~Mom

MJ. B