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Dear Amelia,

I told you I would eventually tell you details that were left out that would make things make sense later. Well, now it’s later. The only way for everything to make sense has everything to do with what I’m about to tell you in the next few letters. It was the start of me learning about the gaps in my memories that I didn’t know existed.

This next part is not something I like to remember, so bear with me. And understand that the person I was then was an emotionally unstable, angry, hurt and overwhelmed child. I was unrecognizable to myself. I was someone I never wanted to be. Even if everyone said I had every right to be that person, I didn’t. I was the evil version of myself. And it didn’t feel good after everything was said and done.

The more Erica talked, the angrier I got. I forced her to fight me. And I beat her ass. And as I was beating her, I was remembering everything she did to me. The daily attacks; the way she left me for dead so many times; the way she acted innocent in front of David and Devyn. She called me a monster. But to me, she was the devil.

She tried to give up, but I didn’t let her. Just like she and her minions didn’t stop jumping me when I was bleeding out on the street. Rage, anger, and the need for revenge took over me and I ripped her face off. But I didn’t kill her. I healed her just enough to keep her alive so I could go through her memories since she refused to answer my questions. And then I understood why she wished she were dead.

The thing was, her memories made me even more irate. And I really did turn into a monster after seeing them. Her memories showed me she wasn’t innocent. Although I initially planned for her to spend the rest of her life in the dungeon, death was the only option after what I saw.

When I told Devyn and Jordan what Jason did to her, they were ready to kill him. Especially Devyn. He took it personally. Although Devyn hated them for what they did, at one point, Erica was like a sister to him, and Jason was his best friend.

Devyn didn’t know how evil they were, or how vile Jason was. The betrayal he must have felt knowing Jason did the unthinkable to his own mate made him sick. It made us all sick. Devyn wanted to torture him to death. Jordan had no plans of stopping him. Actually, he refused to stop him.

Amelia, you want to know what the worst part was? Erica was the mastermind behind everything. She was the reason why Casey and everyone else started bullying me. She was the one who convinced Jason to leave the pack. She forced him to reject his real mate and take her as his chosen instead. She fueled his rage and hate.

Erica was the one who found and sought Katrina’s and Ryan’s help. Erica was the one who suggested they kidnap Tristan. Everything was set into motion by her. She was pulling all the strings. That’s why she had to die. Jason may have assaulted her in the worst way possible, but she was not innocent.

I allowed Devyn to do what he needed to do, as long as he kept Jason alive for me. I didn’t tell him everything I learned about Erica, he already had enough betrayal. The rest, I carried alone. It was better that way. We both didn’t need to be broken that much.

The more I though about what she did, the more I started to lose control. All I felt was hatred. Pure, unadulterated hatred and rage. My biggest fears filled my thoughts and fed my ire. I lost every bit of my sanity, and all I saw was red. I couldn’t even reach Gaia. Hatred spread through every fiber of my body until the only thing left was the need to kill. The need to unleash my wrath.

~Mom

MJ. B