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Dear Amelia,

This might be the hardest part to recount because I don’t remember it happening. Devyn, Jordan and everyone there told me what happened. So please take this with a grain of salt as I explain what happened to the best of my understanding.

I blacked out. The anger, the rage, the fury and hatred became too much for me to handle, and I blacked out. While I was blacked out, my body was taken over by another. I think the humans call it D.I.D or multiple personality disorder. Macey is the name of the one who took over me while I was blacked out.

Macey was filled with anger, animosity, and hatred for the world who hated me. She didn’t believe anyone loved me. And she used everyone’s biggest weakness against them. Macey wanted to burn the world that wronged me.

She called Devyn weak. And Jordan a murderer. She claimed that James was the only one who ever really loved me.

Macey started her version of revenge by torturing Jason. She found joy in it. I know it terrified everyone. They were looking at me like the monster Erica claimed me to be. But it wasn’t me. I didn’t do those things to Jason. But no matter what my truth is, everyone there will always have those horrendous images of me torturing him and having fun with it.

Devyn, bless his heart, hid Tristan and Grace from me. I was happy he did, but Macey wasn’t. And she wanted to find Tristan.

Grandpa said that it was the vampire genes that manifested into its own consciousness. I was basically separated. Macey, my vampire side. And Marcy, my wolf side. I was used to being Marcy. Marcy and Gaia was the only version of myself that I knew. But then Macey came. Macey, who was always there, I just didn’t know it.

I only got flashes of what Macey was doing. For the most part, I was in darkness. But when I got those flashes, I was terrified by what I saw. The torture.

They had to seal Macey… well me, technically. Otherwise, I’d go on a rampage. They wanted to protect everyone, but mostly me. They were only able to subdue me because my mom was blessed. I wasn’t immune to my mom’s powers, and she enchanted me so Stella, Farrah and Sadie could seal me in a cell. I know that sounds harsh, but it was necessary.

Victoria showed up and explained to them that Macey was a coping mechanism that I created. Basically, I never internalized and faced my traumas. I never worked through them. I just shoved them all down. From all the bullying and everything that came with it, I ignored them.

I never allowed myself to feel the emotions and move on from them. And then Gaia showed up, and we forgave. She taught me to forgive and I did without ever really facing the effects of the trauma. All those feelings that I swallowed down without thinking, manifested. And that day in the cell wasn’t the first time.

~Mom

MJ. B