12

Dear Amelia,

If you think Tristan and Grace are clingy now, you should have saw them growing up. I know you saw the teenage version of them, but the child version of them were something else. They were inseparable. Jordan didn’t like it, but I thought it was cute.

When I was wrapped up in Devyn’s arms, everyone else back home were sleeping. Given the time difference, it was still day time in Black Forest, but the middle of the night at Willow Lake. As always, Grace snuck into Tristan’s room in the middle of the night. If she didn’t, he’d go to hers.

It was at that time that she was attacked. Tristan defended her, and tried to fight off the attacker. I sensed they were in danger, that’s why I left Devyn’s room. As I said in my last letter, I left in a panic, this is why.

Whoever it was that attacked them was after me. Well, actually, they wanted both me and Tristan dead. And based on Tristan’s memories, they had some sort of personal vendetta against me. I saw what the man looked like after going through Tristan’s memories, and I shared images of the attacker with sketch artists and began searching for him.

We kept everything under wraps because the Alphas summit was coming up, and we needed to focus on that. Plus, we didn’t want to cause panic around the tribe.

Jordan kept me honest on my duties. And on life. Throughout everything, he was always the one who told me everything straight. He was never afraid to hurt my feelings or coddle me. And throughout all of this, searching for the attacker, the witch and preparing for the alpha summit, he told me to live.

Jordan told me that I needed to move on, and that James wasn’t coming back. He told me it was obvious that I had feelings for Devyn, and I should just accept them. But Amelia, all I could think about was Tristan, and how that would affect him. How would he feel if I started a new relationship with someone other than his father? Would he think I didn’t love his dad? Would he be mad? Would it ruin our relationship? Gaia told me it was okay, and that Tristan was okay with it. But, I didn’t believe it.

I trusted Gaia with everything, but I needed to hear it from Tristan. That was the only way that I could be convinced. So I took Tristan out so I could ask him. I didn’t know how to ask about it, so as I tried to think about how to ask him, I asked if there was something he wanted to talk about instead. I figured it would buy me time to bring up the conversation about Devyn.

By now, you know your brother well enough to know that if he wants you to know something, he’ll tell you. And he told me he wanted Devyn to be his new dad. I didn’t expect him to say that. Or to tell me that it’s because he knows that Devyn loved and cared about us deeply.

Amelia, anyone with eyes can see how much Devyn loves me and Tristan. Even I could see it. I was just being stubborn and in denial. Devyn has always loved me. Since we were kids. I could tell by the way he treated me back then. Though we hardly talked.

I could tell by the way he begged for my forgiveness when I asked him to fight with us. I could tell by the way he defended me to the pack who hated me. I could tell by the way he took care of Willow Lake while I grieved James. I could tell by the way he adored Tristan. And I still kept him at a distance. And told myself and everyone else, that it was just friendship.

Tristan was six. Barely. And he could see how much Devyn loved me. He understood how deeply rooted his feelings were. And he wanted Devyn to be his dad. How could I deny that? I could deny myself, but I couldn’t deny Tristan. So when he told me he wanted that, that was enough for me.

Since the summit was coming up, and taking place in Mexico, we decided to make it a little family vacation out of it. Stella, who usually stays back to watch the kids, was coming because Tristan wanted Grace to come. He refused to see the world without her.

I, on the other hand, thought I would ask Devyn to join the next time I saw him because I didn’t want to be a third wheel. Jordan had Stella, Tristan had Grace, I was alone. And I just got permission from Tristan to enter into a relationship with Devyn so why not?

And yes, I would really be third wheeling my six year old son in Mexico. I didn’t like it at all. Tristan loved Grace, and she was the most important person in his life. He always chose her side. And I don’t think I could stand to watch everyone cuddled up watching a movie while I was alone.

I’m telling you, Amelia, if you think they’re bad now, you should have seen them then. They were so cute. And Jordan hated it. He was jealous, just like me, when it came to our kids spending more time with each other than they did with us. But that’s life.

~Mom