9

Dear Diary,

I have to admit that I let my emotions get the better of me this past month. But I don’t regret it. At least not right now. I don’t think.

So, to catch you up on what happened, I finished finals- although I’m not sure if I passed. And I was supposed to go home for winter break, but that didn’t happen. James was still ghosting me, and at that point, I felt like he was being petty. He didn’t call or check in on me at all. Not even to check if I was still on time. Or to tell me to have a safe flight. Or confirm that he was still picking me up. He really didn’t act like he cared, so I didn’t care either.

I camped out in Portland without telling anyone. I blocked Gaia out because I didn’t trust her. And I turned my phone off and used only cash because I didn’t want to deal with anyone blowing my phone up. All I told my parents was that I was staying on campus, hopefully that means they wouldn’t come looking for me.

And when I say I camped out, I mean I lived in the forest that made up Multnomah Falls. And I relied solely on my vampire genes. I didn’t shift to hunt. And I fed on blood from the animals I caught. I ate them too. The time I spent alone in the forest gave me plenty of time to think, but I didn’t come up with any solutions. Honestly, I think It made me more mad. Because I realized that James might actually reject me over my bond with Jordan.

When I got to the airport to go back to school, I ran into Jordan. Apparently his pack is in Oregon, and he filled me in on how James has been calling every pack between Washington and Indiana trying to find me. Jordan also somehow convinced me to talk to Gaia, which turned out to be a waste of time, since she still didn’t tell me anything. Honestly, it feels like at this point, Jordan was the only one telling me anything.

Speaking of, he explained to me what an attachment was, but honestly, I didn’t – and don’t – have the energy to think about that right now because I’m still vexed.

James showed up at my school, threatened Jordan – who seemed to be unaffected by James’s aura and intimidation- and demanded we talk. I refused and went to my safe place – the roof.

Jordan was already there, and since I wanted to get away, I took him to the forest that I had been visiting over the course of the year, and we went for a run. Of course since I wasn’t talking to Gaia, we played a game of tag while I was in my human form.

On the bright side, if anything good came out of the past month, I think it was the developing friendship with Jordan. I learned a lot from him. Including a bit about his background and what he talked to Gaia about. He’s not so bad. Plus, he told me he was an assassin, so it might be better to be his friend rather than his enemy. And he convinced me to talk to James. So tomorrow, that’s what I’ll be doing.

If he rejects me, I hope he does it quickly.

Wish me luck!

~ XOXO

MJ.L