8

Dear Amelia,

Everyone copes with loss in their own way. Some were stronger than others. I wasn’t. I wasn’t strong at all. I hid from the world. I didn’t eat, sleep, talk or see anyone. I was depressed to say the least. James’s funeral made everything real. And I couldn’t bear the pain of it. I couldn’t even take care of myself.

I knew Gaia was the same. She lost her mate and best friend too. But she was stronger than me. When I would black out, I thought she was taking over to make sure we were fed. But it wasn’t. I learned much later that it was thanks to Macy that I had blood and food.

Macy- whom I’ll tell you about later- left notes to let people who visited know I was still there. And alive. She also let them know what I needed so I wouldn’t run out of anything.

I hid out in Washington for over a month- in the house James bought for us- after the funeral. I never saw anyone until Selene paid me a visit. She basically talked some sense into me. But the best thing she did was let me see Onyx.

He couldn’t talk to me, but he could hear me. I assured him we’d be okay- because I didn’t want him to worry about us in the afterlife. And I told him me and Gaia would wait for him and James to be reincarnated since we were soul mates. I only had eternity to wait.

Selene sent me back to our world. Instead of sending me back home though, she sent me to the woods. Somewhere deep down I knew why. And I beelined it to Jordan. Since some time had gone by, and since Selene helped me, I wasn’t so emotional anymore. I was still hurting, but I could think a little bit more clearly, and with that clarity I was able to feel that the bond Jordan and I shared wasn’t completely severed. It was, however, hanging by a thread.

I don’t know how I knew what I needed to do, but I just did. I weaved our bond back together while using water to pull out any poison that was in him. I poured my own essence into him, gave him all my energy, until he was fully healed. It took so much out of my already weak body, but I was lucky to run into a nurse who brought me blood.

Jordan woke up. I commanded him to, and it was painful for the both of us. He was alive, and that was all that mattered. Jordan was in a coma for about two months. Maybe longer. Time didn’t make sense to me at that point.

I told him we won, and that James didn’t make it. He blamed himself for James’s death. I tried to tell him it wasn’t his fault, but you know how he is. We talked for a little before making our grand entrance in the courtyard where everyone was having dinner. The lost queen and her dead guardian were back. That’s the look everyone was going us.

I gave a speech. I apologized for hiding out and thanked them for fighting with me. I asked them for forgiveness. Can you believe they forgave me without hesitation? There were a ton of questions, and I answered many of them before we celebrated.

Amelia, I know you are most curious about your father and I, and like I said before, I promise I’ll get to it. Our relationship is complicated. Where and when it started is even more complicated. But don’t doubt how much we care and love each other. Just because it was a complicated and confusing start, doesn’t mean that the love we share isn’t strong. If anything, the complexity of it all made our love stronger. And you’ll understand soon.

~Mom

MJ. B