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Dear Cass,

If you’re reading this, it means you found one of my hidden gifts. I must have written this letter a thousand times, and still, I couldn’t find the right words to say.

The sad truth is, at some point we all must die, and when that day comes, we will be faced with the realities of our legacy. What did you accomplish in life? Where did you go? What places have you visited? How will people remember you? Did you do what you said you wanted to do? Did you live your life how you wanted to? Did you die as the person you wanted to be?

As I face death, I realized that none of that matters. No single person will remember you the same as others. Each person you meet, interact with and build relationships with will remember you differently. The only thing that matters is not how others remember your life, but how you remember your life. What will you cling onto that will follow you into the afterlife?

As much as I’d like to say I’ve lived a life of virtue, I’ve done a lot of questionable things in my life. It would be foolish and ignorant to say I lived a righteous life. But if anything, the most honorable thing I’ve done, was bringing you into my home.

There will always be things we cannot control in life. As long as we beat ourselves up over the “what-ifs” and the “if I only did things differently”, we will never truly be content. I say this because I know you blame yourself for far too much. The blame is not yours. The burden is not for you to carry.

Your father’s drug and alcohol problems are not your fault. The issues your parents face were not caused by you. It’s normal for people to want someone to blame when things go wrong, and your siblings blame you, but the blame for that falls on your parents, not you.

They’ve planted a rotten seed in you and did everything to make it grow. What your family seems to not understand, no matter how many times I’ve literally shown them, is that a rotten seed will never bear fruit. It will never grow. Since meeting you, I’ve done my best to fertilize your mind and replant healthy seeds. But I cannot do it alone. As long as you allow your family to ruin the soil, healthy plants will not grow.

In a roundabout way, what I’m trying to say is, don’t allow anyone to plant rotten seeds in you. This goes for everyone you meet. I’ve taught you all I could in the brief time we spent together. Now it’s your turn to take control of your life. I know things will be hard but give yourself grace for things you cannot control.

Remember, you reap what you sow. Rotten seeds will never amount to anything. Sow a healthy seed and your harvest will prosper.

With love, Al Bates