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Dear Diary,

It’s nearing the end of April. Next month, I’ll be graduating from both of my high schools and I’ll finally be able to leave home. I was accepted into a college far away and would be traveling there after my birthday passes. As exciting as graduating may sound, I’m actually terrified. The people at my school are nothing like me. At all.

Actually, there is no one like me. Anywhere. And that’s exactly why I had to leave. Still, there’s a feeling in the pit of my stomach that college may be worse. But I have hope I can make a better life for myself. It’s easier to hide who you are from people who don’t know you and people you’ve never met.

To be honest, there are only a few people in the whole world, aside from my parents, who don’t despise my very existence. And I don’t even know if they are genuine.

My whole life I’ve been told by everyone that my life was meaningless and I should have never been born. My own grandmother told me I was an abomination.

All because I wasn’t born pure like they were. I am mixed. A “half breed” as they call me. And for that simple reason, I should not be allowed to live a normal life like everyone else.

Because I’m not pure by blood, I am not worthy of life. I am not worthy of love. And I do not belong here.

For why must I hear such atrocious words? My birth, my existence in this world, was not my choice. Yet the audacity that people have to hate me, not just privately, publicly, for something they don’t blame my parents for, made no sense. And the insolence of these people to spew this hate to my face was intolerable. And no one dared say a word to or about my parents.

So after all these years of torment and bullying, I figured the best thing I could do was leave my community and go somewhere where no one knew me. And I could start life anew. That’s what college was for me. An escape. Hope.

Until then, I only have to survive another month of school.

Wish me luck.

-Marcy Jo Lexington. <3